Fortune Watch

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Would you marry a bachelor with a million dollars? My friends used to raise the same question when we were kids. What usually sparked a debate was the ensuing query: What if that man or woman is ugly and cruel? Obviously, we were totally clueless about romance and marriage back then.

Now, friends still raise the issue from time to time, but discussions have taken a different twist. “Would you marry for love or money?” They now ask.

I just found a report that attempts to answer the million-dollar question. According to “Marriage for love of money” at Wall Street Journal, two-thirds of women and half the men said they would marry for money.

When asked about their “price” to see them walk down the aisle, the singles said it would have to be over $1 million to $2 million in net worth.

But isn’t love the end-all and be-all of happiness? Doesn’t almost every chick-flick end with a blushing bride marrying the “man with a good heart” and they live happily ever after? Not necessarily. It’s the marriage that comes in bundles of money that lasts.

That’s at least according to Daniela Drake, a former McKinsey consultant, who recently raised the issue in her piece in Reuters. Are women better off marrying for money?

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Before Wall Street and the media combined to make investors think of calendar quarters as “short-term” and single years as “long-term”, market cycles were used as true tests of investment strategies over the long haul. Bor-ing.

There were four types of standard analysis used by most financial institutions, Peak-to-Peak, and Peak-to-Trough being the most common found in annual reports. There were also basic differences in purpose and perspective in the old days, and a focus on results vs. reasonable expectations for actual portfolios.

Even more boring, and not nearly as profitable for “the wizards” as today’s super Trifecta, instant gratification, speculative, mentality.

Portfolio performance analysis was intended to be a test of management style and overall methodology, not a calendar year horse race with one of the popular averages. The DJIA was (I believe) originally conceived as an economic indicator, not as a market-performance measuring device.

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I think it was the immortal Ben Hogan who quipped: I can put “left” on the ball and I can put “right” on the ball— “straight” is essentially an accident. Most amateur golfers would make a slightly different observation. We can hit the ball left or right with no problem; we just have no idea when either will occur.

As to straight, most of us refer to that phenomenon as “the dreaded straight ball”— and it’s this lack of straight that makes it so critical for us to master the art of working the ball. We need to understand how to move the ball left or right, consistently, on the golf course, under pressure, but without ever aiming out-of-bounds or into a lateral.

Yeah, sure, just like that.

It is doable though, and Ehow.com is a great place to start. There, at “work-golf-ball” is a simple five-step tutorial that anyone should be able to master with countless hours of range work. Of course it’s more difficult on an actual golf course, with those red and white stakes, trees, bodies of water, marsh grasses, and back yard barbequers.

To become a lower handicapper, work the ball we must— unless your name is Moe Norman. Making the shot go higher or lower than normal is another of those ball working skills that you need to master to save strokes. Mother Nature really appreciates it when you maneuver the ball below Live Oak branches and over environmentally protected “no search” zones.

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Investment markets got you down, Bunkie? Been blown away by derivative stun guns? When will portfolio market values move back to 2007 levels— and then what will you do about it?

It’s time to overthrow the evil Masters of the Universe and deactivate their weapons of financial destruction. Let’s outlaw the brainwashing that has changed how average investors look at and value their investment portfolios.

It’s time to exorcize the Wall Street demons and return to stocks and bonds— and to QDI, “the Force” for long-term investment portfolio security.

Speculating is complicated, even for financial rocket scientists. What most of us want (or would certainly settle for) is simplicity, stability, and reasonable growth in our productive working capital.

A return to plain vanilla investing strategies with operating procedures that minimize risk and encourage understanding of the financial markets needs to become part of our financial force field.

As bad as things have been since this black hole appeared, investment models true to fundamental concepts, simple strategies, and disciplined operating rules have probably bettered the market numbers in at least six important ways:

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